School is confusing...

For "fun" I try to figure out my class schedule for the rest of the classes I have remaining at this school. A few weeks ago I thought I had 90 units left to take, this week I thought I had 81, and today I KNOW that I only have 69 left. It's exciting and not at the same time. I mean, I kind of got fed up with school when Fresno City screwed me up... but I did not give up. Yet, I should know the basics of Photography by now... and, honestly, I am still so confused by it. I'm not going to step down though. I really just want to be done with school... I am tired and I need a break. And I know that getting a job wouldn't be a break, but it would be something different, something knew. I just want to be with the people I know and I love. Maybe no one in the world can understand that I can only perform to the best of my ability when I am comfortable and happy, and I am not here. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do and I am excited to do it, and I can't wait to go somewhere with it. It's just hard for me when I am here in a dorm with roommates I don't exactly like, in a city I don't exactly like, afraid of going places alone... things like that. I don't care about friends. I try to talk to people, believe it or not... I try to make friends in my classes. It doesn't work though, and I do not care. I have friends at home that I talk to. I do wish Ryan were here though. I've been so blessed by the time that I have gotten to see him, and I just didn't want to have to see him less. I've only been here a week... Yeah, sure, it'll be a good experience for me... but I experienced enough of it last semester. An experience for one person can be totally different for another. You know... I know I have my flaws, I know I am not perfect and that I make mistakes... welcome to being human. It is my choice to make the best of it, to learn, to be the best person that I can be, and that is what I do. It's only been a week... it's going to be a long semester.